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Lisa’s Burned Frozen Fish Sticks
Lisa: Dad, look: I made fish sticks. They’re burned on the outside but they’re frozen on the inside so it balances out. Homer: Yeah…good. – The Last Temptation of Homer (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode...
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Cranberry Sauce á la Bart
Marge: Honey, please. You’re in the way. Bart: Can’t I help you mom? Marge: Well, ok. Let’s see. Can you do the cranberry sauce. Bart: Yeah. Where is it? Marge: The can is in the cupboard on the bottom...
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I’m Not Making That: MacGyver Burgers
Richard Dean Anderson: Hey, ladies! Guess who made MacGyver burgers? MacGyver! Selma: But we didn’t have any ground beef. Richard Dean Anderson: Yeah. But you did have Slim Jims, a cheese grater, and...
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Only 35 Calorie Rice Cake
Homer: Oh, Why did I have to start my diet on pork chop night? Marge: Now Homer, we’ve got steamed vegetables and rice cakes for you. Homer: Wait a minute. Well hey, I’ve been setting my drinks on...
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Marge’s Delicious Boiled Celery
Lisa: I’m allergic to everything here. My nose is so stuffed up, I can’t even taste Mom’s delicious boiled celery. – You Only Move Twice (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 2) Celery is a rigid vegetable,...
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I’m Not Making That: Disgusting British Food
Chief Wiggum: We don’t need clues. We’ve already caught the killer. This mysterious Hindu is clearly responsible for the murder. Lock him up till we find someone darker, boys. Apu: Please, I am not a...
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Salad with Mustard and Ketchup
Homer: Pass ketchup. [Bart winds up, slaps it with his knife] Lisa: [catches it] You’ll have to do better than that tonight, chump. [Bart hits mustard towards her and she ducks] Homer: [catches it]...
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Coleslaw with Pineapple and German Potato Salad
Homer: Ooh, I smell barbecue! Hey look [screams] oh, they’re out of hot dogs! And the coleslaw has pineapple in it! Aah! German potato salad! – Simpsons Bible Stories (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode...
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Wordloaf Dinner Garlic Mashed Potatoes
Tom Wolfe: Before Moe reads his keynote poem, I would like to stake my claim to any unfinished garlic mashed potatoes. So please, if you would pass them clockwise up to table one, I will collect them...
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Stonecutter Ribs
Number One: Tonight we are here to commemorate our glorious society’s 1500th anniversary. And in honor of this momentous occasion, we’re having ribs. Homer: Yeah! Oh, I need a bib. If I slop any on my...
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Rodd and Todd’s Jelly and Candy Sandwich
Todd: Mr. Simpsons, can we have another jelly and candy sandwich? Homer: Sure, knock yourselves out. And call me Homer. Rodd: Daddy said it’s rude to call grownups by their first name. Homer: Daddy’s...
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Movementarian Lima Beans
Homer: These lima beans are even better than the ones we had for breakfast and lunch! Oh! A lima bean that looks just like the Leader! I’ll put it with the others. – The Joy of Sect (The Simpsons...
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Springfield Retirement Castle Kidney Mush
Springfield Retirement Castle Employee: Wow, someone sure likes their kidney mush! Homer: Sure do! – The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons (The Simpsons Season 9 – Episode 7) Boo! Exit to your left. It’s...
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Blandoori
Manjula: I know you have all gone to a lot of trouble to meddle in my affairs. But you cannot change my mind with one night of blasphemy and store-bought tandoori. Or should I say blandoori! – The...
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Patty’s Swedish Meatballs
Marge: You brought food? Patty: Just a few things. Swedish meatballs. Selma: And my trout almondine. Marge: You knew that I was cooking a turkey. Patty: Which is fine. Selma: More power to you. Patty:...
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Cheeto Root Beer Noodles
Simon Woosterfield: Why are these noodles orange? Marge: I made it with Cheetos, just like you like it. If the sauce is too thick, I can add more root beer. Simon Woosterfield: Maybe I’m just not...
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Marge’s Lamb Chops
Homer: This barbecue will be hard, thankless work. But I’m sure you’re up to it, Marge. Marge: Well, it could be a good chance to get to know our neighbors outside of a courtroom setting. Homer: You...
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Bart’s Grilled Twizzlers
Bart: Oh yeah, these babies are done. – Lost Verizon (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 2) When preparing his Grilled Twizzlers, Bart barbecues the candy until he gets some nice grill lines on them,...
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Butterscotch Chicken
We’ll bend the rules of Eats Like A Duck for today’s entry, which was written by fabulous guess writer Kris Rogerson, famed RMT and Simpsons fan. Marge: Only three cavities, Bart, your best checkup...
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A Flavorless Mush Called Rootmarm
Jebediah: People, our search is over! On this site we shall build a new town where we can worship freely, govern justly, and grow vast fields of hemp for making rope and blankets. Shelbyville: Yes, and...
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